Erised
by Princess Lily
Summary: Dumbledore's thoughts back on that night in Harry's first year....


~ **_Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi_** ~ 

__

Hogwarts Castle – December 27, 1991

I knew that Harry would come back. Late on Christmas night, the Alertius Charm that I had set on the abandoned classroom containing the Mirror of Erised signaled to me that someone had entered the room. I quickly performed the Invisibilius incantation over myself and strode downstairs to discover the identity of the aggressor. There I found a terribly saddened looking Harry Potter, staring hungrily in to the mirror, his hands pressed against the glass. The invisibility cloak that I had returned to him anonymously earlier that day lay forgotten in a silvery heap at his feet. It wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out what he saw in the Mirror. As I watched Harry struggle with his emotions, never taking his eyes away from the mirror's depths, his mouth formed the words "Mum… Dad…" As I moved my wand to remove the Invisibilius spell, my robes rustled a bit. Harry tore his gaze away from the mirror and glanced around. He whispered, "I'll come back," to the mirror and hurried from the room. I hesitated for a moment, and then made my way back to my chambers.

I knew that Harry would indeed return to see his parents in the mirror. The next night, I waited, invisible, in the abandoned classroom. As I sat on a chair near the back of the room, the mirror glowed with a faint aura. It seemed to be calling me. I was just standing up to gaze into it's depths when there was the sound of voices coming from the corridor outside of the room. I hastily sat down again.

"It's here – just here – yes!" Harry and another boy, who I recognized as Ronald Weasley, entered the room. Harry dropped the cloak from around his shoulders and ran to the mirror. He regained the wistful expression that his face had held the night before.

"See?" he whispered. Ron looked confused.

"I can't see anything."

"Look! Look at them all… there are loads of them…"

"I can only see you." I almost chuckled, but then thought better of it.

"Look in it properly, go on, stand where I am." Harry moved aside as Ron stood, looking doubtful, in front of the mirror. His expression changed as he gazed into the mirror's silvery depths.

"Look at me!" he said. I could see that Harry was confused because he couldn't see what Ron could.

"Can you see all your family standing around you?"

"No – I'm alone – but I'm different – I look older – and I'm head boy!"

"_What?_" Harry looked bewildered.

"I am – I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to – and I'm holding the House Cup and Quidditch Cup – I'm Quidditch captain, too!" He turned to glance at Harry. 

"Do you think this mirror shows the future?" Harry frowned.

"How can it? All my family are dead – let me have another look-"

"You had it to yourself all last night, give me a bit more time." I suppressed a laugh. They did not realize my presence.

"You're only holding the Quidditch Cup, what's interesting about that? I want to see my parents." He tried to push Ron away from the mirror. Ron looked indignant. 

"Don't push me-" I gave a silent sigh. Once again, the power of the mirror had turned friend against friend. There was a small noise in the corridor outside. They had been making quite a lot of noise. Ron grabbed the cloak from the floor and threw it over the pair of them. Mrs. Norris, Argus Filch's cat, peered around the doorframe suspiciously. Though the boys were not sure of it, she could not see them through the cloak. After a minute, she turned and left. I smiled as Ron whispered, "This isn't safe – she might have gone for Filch, I bet she heard us. Come on." Harry looked plaintively back at the mirror as Ron pulled him out of the room. As soon as I was sure that they were gone, I removed the Invisibilius spell and approached the mirror. As I reached it, Argus Filch swung around the doorway.

"Aha!" he shouted. I turned and looked at him. He must have just missed Ron and Harry. When he saw that it was I, he looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry Headmaster, I didn't realize…" I held up my hand.

"No need, Argus." The caretaker coughed uncomfortably. Mrs. Norris rubbed against his ankles while looking scrutinizingly back up at me. I raised my eyebrows at her, and she desisted. Argus cleared his throat.

"Well then, headmaster, I'll be on my way now." I nodded mutely as he turned back into the corridor. There was a faint cackle and the sound of smashing china.

"PEEVES!" he roared, and raced off in search of the trouble-making poltergeist. I turned back to the mirror and gazed ruefully at the sight that met my eyes. After standing pensively for a moment, I departed. I would return the next night, when I knew Harry would come again.

That is how I came to be sitting on a desk the following night, waiting once again for Harry to arrive. I had resolved not to use the Invisibilius spell, but instead to face Harry and explain to him why he saw what he saw in the mirror. Sure enough, he rushed in, his cloak falling to the floor near the door. Dashing past where I was seated, he sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. I smiled.

"So – back again, Harry?" He jumped and turned slowly. He looked as though his insides had turned to ice.

"I – I didn't see you, sir."

"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you." I smiled at him, and Harry looked relieved.

"So," I said, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, "you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised." Harry looked astonished.

"I didn't know it was called that, sir."

"But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"

"It – well – it shows me my family-"

"And it showed your friend Ron himself as head boy." Harry looked surprised again.

"How did you know -?"

"I don't need a cloak to become invisible," I said gently. "Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?" Harry, still confused, shook his head. I tried to think of a way to clarify it.

"Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised as a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?" Harry considered this.

"It shows us what we want… whatever we want…" 

"Yes and no," I said quietly, wondering how he would take it. "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them." I couldn't read Harry's expression. "However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible." Harry looked down at the floor, twisting a corner of the cloak between his fingers. "The mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever _do_ run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?" Harry stood up. 

"Sir – Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?" I looked up at him from my position seated on the floor.

"Obviously you've just done so," I smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however." 

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" I considered him.

"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared.

"One can never have enough socks," I said, "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books." Harry nodded after a moment and turned into the corridor. I smiled and turned back to face the mirror. I hadn't been telling the truth, but it had been quite a personal question. In the mirror, the faces of the Potters gazed back at me. Lily and James were smiling, both with a hand on Harry's shoulders. All three looked ecstatically happy. Next to them were the Longbottoms, completely sane and standing joyously with Neville. Behind them I could see the McKinnons, the Bones', and the Prewetts waving happily at me. Inside the mirror were the people whose lives had been destroyed by Voldemort. In the back of the room I could see a cluster of recognizable people. My parents and brother. I was with them. We were a family again. The deepest desire of my heart was to have everything the way it would have been if Voldemort had never existed. I placed my hand up against the cool glass of the mirror and watched as my family waved at me, a tear rolling down my mother's cheek. I remembered my own advice to Harry. _It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live._ Pulling my gaze away from the sight before me, I stood up and walked out of the room. The next time I would face the mirror would be in the following week to deposit the Sorcerer's Stone inside. I cast a complex enchantment that made only a person who wanted to find the stone and not use it able to retrieve it. From then on, I turned my thoughts away from what could have been.

~ **_I show not your face but your heart's desire_** ~

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the thoughts in Dumbledore's head.


End file.
